Saturday, September 24, 2011

Praying hard.

Jerry has yet to find work. We are not sure what to do. He has looked for jobs in other states, he has got paper work ready to apply for driving school and go over the road and we have an appointment with a recruiter this Tuesday. I'm trying to stay strong, but the bank accounts are empty. I've called and put all possible payments on hold, including our home but only for 30 days. We've had a very tough 2 years and this is by far the worst it has been. I just, I don't see the light. I don't know what else to do but pray. I know that this is so hard for us but in the end I know that it will be Kaleb and Bella who suffer. I don't care if I don't eat for a month if they can have food and diapers but that's just it, I don't know that they will have that.
I am sitting here watching MY SISTER'S KEEPER. I really do love this movie. It's beautiful. This movie makes me count my blessings. My babies are healthy and that is wonderful. I hope and pray I never have to wonder if my child will die tomorrow. I thank God for their health. They are full of life and energy. They laugh and giggle and they have NO idea what is going on. That, I am happy for.
I don't know if I want the appointment with the recruiter to go well or not. That idea scares the hell out of me. I know if Jerry joined the military, we would be taken care of, for life.... yet I am scared to be without him. A few days at a time, I probably need, but I don't know if I am mentally ready for a deployment.
I think I would really love to go back to high school. Life was so much more simple then. Being an adult and making hard decisions suck. Really and truly, the military decision isn't hard. 2 years ago, he sould have signed up when we went back then to talk to a recruiter. It was just me and him, now there is Kaleb and Bella. I just don't know how I will take it, knowing they maybe missing out on family life here at our home.
I don't know.... I am praying, hard. Maybe I can update soon with some good news. I'll leave you with a pic of Kaleb that I took yesterday and it makes me LOL so hard.
That's some mean eatin'!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Wagon Wheels, A Playroom & Life

I may not be on much longer, well at least only from time to time. Jerry has yet to find work and I'm sure unless there is a God send within the week, the Internet will be gone. Therefore, I am gonna try and get a few entries in, especially some new pix. The kids got a very nice wagon from MawMaw and PawPaw Jones for their birthday so Jerry put it together the other day for them. They next day we went for a ride! They seemed to really enjoy it and I had fun pulling it. Here are a few pix to AW at! :)
 We had our juice so it was ALL good!

 Unfortunately, I didn't take any before pix of the spare bedroom we transformed into a playroom. We took out both dressers, the bed, nightstand and my vanity and put ALL the kids toys and toy chest in there along with the baby gate in the doorway. Jerry calls it their jail cell but they really enjoy it and my living room and dining room isn't a mess any more! We were able to move the dining room table back in the house too! Never realized how much I missed it! Maybe now I can start on the kids baby book. Yea a whole year and I haven't even done a page. Bad huh? Here are some pix of the playroom and some after they destroy it.

Didya see my cat in one of the pictures? :) Here are just a few more just because. We are an Alabama Crimson Tide family! These were this past Saturday!

 Apparently Bella said something funny!

Hope ya enjoyed the pictures. I am hoping and praying that I will soon be able to update with some good news. I am so sick and tired of bad news. It makes me down and it makes jumping off a cliff look appealing and I don't like that feeling. I just want life to finally deal us a hand we can run with. I am so tired of losing and now it's not just us, it's the kids too.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Car seats!

The kiddos got their new convertible seats installed yesterday and we went out today! I wanted to ERF (extended rear facing) but the latches don't reach and the back seat isn't big enough! Jerry would be all the way in the dash if we tried to get them to fit. Grrr. But they seemed to really like them and enjoyed the ride!

And just for the sweetness of it, my Bella Bug asleep on her new pillow and blanket. Isn't she darling?

Hell & Happy Birthday

Well, the kiddos had a wonderful birthday party last Sunday. I'll post some pix to enjoy. It did rain but it didn't damper our day! They got TONS of stuff and had a wonderful turn out. It was an Alabama Crimson Tide themed party the day after the first game and first win!! ROLL TIDE!! Oh a more sour note, the day after was Labor Day so Jerry was off work then the next day he goes into work and looses his job. Back to freaking square one we go. It really sucks and I don't know what to do. He had such a wonderful job. 3PM-1AM Monday through Thursday... it was perfect. A 3 day weekend and family time. I was so happy, not I am just at a loss and I'm not really sure what to do. I just keep praying and I keep trying to stay positive but I don't know how much longer I can handle this. He keeps saying we will be OK and I know there will be food on the table but I worry about our home and all that. Everytime we stand we get knocked back down.... I listen to this song wayyyyyy too much.....
Some how it makes me feel better and I can kind of feel OK and I know God will never give you more than you can handle but after 2 years of this job crap, twins and money troubles, I feel like I am about to crack. I just really need to get away for a while but then again.... with what money? Maybe I can update soon with good news. Here's to hoping, again.... Now for some adorable birthday pics? They will probably be out of order but oh well. :)

Me and My friend's baby girl. Little Miss ABC. :)

At home after everything was unloaded and most of the cloths are NOT in this pic. 

My Mom, she will be brought up at the bottom.

...and my mom made the Pillow Dress and Jon Jon for the twins and had it embroidered with their names. I love em!